


No Strings Hold Him Down (Just Vines)

by quiet__tiger



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 07:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10849443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet__tiger/pseuds/quiet__tiger
Summary: Poison Ivy 's got Joker all tied up.





	No Strings Hold Him Down (Just Vines)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Puppetry."
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal 13th-Oct-2011.

“You think you’re so damn special, with your flowers and your weeds.” Joker sniffed indignantly. “What do you have that I don’t?”

“You tied up by those… _weeds_ … for one.” Poison Ivy snarled on the word ‘weeds’ and the vines tightened around Joker. She only regretted they didn’t have thorns. The pale, scrawny bastard deserved it.

“I was unaware that I would be attacked before even reaching the door.”

“You were trespassing.”

Ivy had just started to settle in for the night when the silent alarm went off. By the time she got outside, her guard vines had Joker wrapped up and hanging. Whatever lies he told, she knew he was here to get Harley back. Yet again.

It was the same battle over and over. As if there wasn’t enough evidence that Harley was damaged, the way she kept crawling back to the inhuman monster called Joker was the blinking neon sign. He was abusive and cruel, quick to judge and act and _grow bored_. So he’d push Harley too far, or not quite kill her, and she’d run to Ivy, and Joker would chase after her.

He was the final impetus to get her guard vines laid out properly.

Ivy couldn’t have the smiling menace anywhere near her without wanting to vomit.

“Just give Harley back.”

“She’s not a toy.”

Joker frowned. “She’s a wonderful toy. Except when she misbehaves.”

“She’s a beautiful young woman whom you poisoned.”

“Pot, meet kettle.”

“I didn’t ruin her mind.” 

“But you encourage her to break the law.” Joker got holier-than-though again; Ivy was beginning to think of it as his actual personality. “I want to bring joy to the citizens of Gotham with games and fun and smiles. You let her steal and break into government buildings.”

“To stop the government and corporations from doing harmful things!” Ivy reined herself in before she went off on an angry tangent. No need to get defensive around this clown. “Just leave.”

“You have me rather in a bind.” The vines squeezed tighter again. Somehow Joker’s skin turned a bit blue. “I’m having trouble breathing, and I can’t feel my feet.”

Ivy muttered to herself, “As if any blood pumps from that black heart.” To Joker she offered, “I can have them loosen a bit, if you promise to leave.”

“Not without Harley!”

“No learning with you. Like a puppy who can’t stop peeing on the floor.”

“I had a puppy once.” Ivy waited for Joker to continue, but then decided she was glad he stopped there. “Let me go!” He struggled against the vines, but it was entirely fruitless and actually quite entertaining. Hmm…

“Let me play for a minute. You like to play, right?” Everything was a game to the Joker. Except getting Harley to return. That he took quite seriously.

The thought made Ivy angry all over again. She raised her hands and more vines slithered along the ones already wrapped around Joker. Carefully, she had them each grab an appendage, and a small one twisted around his neck.

By pretending she had a marionette control in her hand, Ivy was able to get her vines to make the Joker dance. Up and down with his feet, clapping his hands, and all the while he protested and sputtered and howled in anger.

It was the most fun she’d had in a while.

She smiled as she made him moonwalk in the air, and slap himself in the face. She twisted him violently back and forth, and bobbed him up and down like a floating buoy in rough waters.

Eventually Joker stopped arguing and stopped fighting, and Ivy figured perhaps he’d learned a lesson. Or at least would be sore the next day.

And then he opened his mouth. “Where. Is. Harley.”

“ _Leave my home, Joker_. This is your final warning. Next time the vines will have thorns, and you won’t be a marionette, you’ll be a ventriloquist dummy.” Joker started to say something else, and Ivy summoned the thorny vines. “I can get the ones with the paralyzing toxin, too. See what I can do to you then.”

Joker eyed the thorny vine slowly sliding its way around his left leg. Ivy could order it to strike him at any time, and maybe he finally understood that she was serious because he finally gave up. “Fine. Call your wee-- plants back. You win for now, _Red_. Put me down and I’ll leave.”

Ivy eyed him another few seconds, but really wanted this night to be over. She also wanted him gone before Harley realized what was going on. “Leave and don’t come back.”

“I didn’t promise that.”

“Just go.” She made her vines raise him another five feet in the air, then had them let him go. He landed with a crunch on a pile of thorny vines, and she tried not to smirk at his irate yell. He crawled to the edge of the pile and slowly got to his feet, his suit torn and welts forming on his wrists and ankles. “I better not see you here again.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and she _knew_ he wanted to say something about Harley, but he wisely—and for once—kept his mouth shut. He slunk away, and only looked back when he was far enough that her vines couldn’t reach. At his best guess, anyway. The hatred in his eyes was visible even from that distance, and Ivy felt a chill go through her. Joker was a horrifying creature.

Ivy let her beautiful vines relax, and idly planned what she would need to plant to keep Joker out next time. There would be a next time, no matter what. Harley would eventually go back to him, and he’d chase her away, and they’d start all over again. Maybe it was just another game.

Sighing, Ivy again thought about how Harley wasn’t a toy and needed to stop letting Joker treat her like one. But as smart as she was, Harley just didn’t get it.

So Ivy vowed she’d always be there to protect her.


End file.
